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From this point we were doing well, even saving money for a rainy day. On our birthdays and Christmas, we went home to spend the day with Mom and dad, with Dad either overtly or covertly handing me a check, usually for an obscene amount of money. He's such a softy!The next couple of years went by and in September of 1995, we got a call from Mom. We rushed home to see them taking Dad away in an ambulance. We saw them load him inside, but he was covered up completely.I embraced Mom and Joanie. I scanned the parking lot to see if I could get a glimpse of a woman that I had only seen a picture of. Not seeing anyone I slowly walked to the entrance and pushed the door open. The hostess greeted me and told her I was going to the bar. I scanned the bar hoping I would recognize her. The only patrons at the bar were several guys. I picked a spot that gave me observation of the door and ordered a beer. As I sat there watching the door. 'Mmmm' I wondered was I being stood up as my watch told. My left hand drifts down to her belt, but I resist the urge to cup her ass. I love her, I admit, and I don't want this to be over too quickly.After nearly a minute I break our kiss and lift my mouth off her, but I keep her body pressed into mine. Not hard, you understand. She could break free if she wants. But I sure hope she doesn't."Neil?" she whispers."If you want me to stop," I breathe, "just give the word." What..." She rolls her eyes down to my throat, where I imagine she can see my. I was in free-fall. I caught the bus back to Arlington, getting off at the entrance gate.I nearly missed my stop, I was so preoccupied with my misery. Sandy hadreally put me down hard. I couldn't get over her final insult - "Youlittle twerp." Was that all I was? A twerp? Had she only strung mealong all these months, even though deep down inside she regarded me assome sort of nobody? Was this how the guys in my barracks felt, too?I knew they liked to call me "little fella," and "little guy.".
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